The Person I'm Next To Is Not Nearsighted

I'm next to this guy. He has on a red flannel shirt, a slouchy winter hat, jeans, and big thick framed glasses. He is loudly discussing a band with a group of people. I don't think he is projecting on purpose, I think he just has a loud voice. Maybe he has a hearing problem. Maybe his mom had a hearing problem and he grew up having to strain to have her hear him. Maybe he has had a chronic throat disease his whole life, but recently had a successful operation and hasn't learned how to use his inside voice yet.
Whatever the reason, he gains my attention through his volume. He keeps my attention by pulling his glasses off in a strange fashion. He places his fingers through his right lens. It takes me a moment to realize this guy doesn't have lenses in the frames. They are a fashion accessory.
I want to step past the sheer immediate silliness of this. I'm sure plenty of fashion statements seemed ridiculous at first, before becoming common place. Here's the rub though. This guy is pretending to be handicapped. I mean I know being myopic, or whatever you call being farsighted, isn't a big handicap, but its a slippery slope. I kind of hope this trend continues. I want to see this guy in a few weeks with a dog and a white cane, headed to dance party with a group of 20 somethings in stylish wheelchairs. Unlikely yes, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Hyperopia, its hyperopia!

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