The Person I'm Next To Has a Crappy Mustache and a Living Necklace

I'm next to this absolutely amazing guy. Our time near each other is short, too short. He is a little overweight and is wearing an baggy T-shirt with what I think is a Insane Clown Posse logo on it. His shirt is complimented, as ICP shirts often are, by gross and skimpy mustache. Based on his musical taste, and his facial hair I would put him around 16 or 17. He is enjoying a warm afternoon on his BMX bike, out for a ride with a 4 foot snake wrapped around his neck.

In case I buried the lead too much here, let me rephrase: I JUST SAW A CHUBBY DUDE WITH A SHITTY MUSTACHE RIDE A BMX BIKE BY ME WITH A FUCKING SNAKE WRAPPED AROUND HIS NECK!

I have little interest in herpetology so I can't identify the type of snake, except to say it was big, green, and currently not strangling this magical man child. Although I can only assume that it could have done so easily, especially wrapped so luxuriously around his ample throat meat. Mind you I'm not questioning this transcendent jugalo's methodology, obvious he knows his shit. I'm merely expressing a layman's concern for his perfect neck, the world can not lose a person as amazing as this guy.

In case you missed this earlier: I JUST SAW A CHUBBY DUDE WITH A SHITTY MUSTACHE RIDE A BMX BIKE BY ME WITH A FUCKING SNAKE WRAPPED AROUND HIS NECK!

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