I'm next to this guy with an automatic caulking gun. His hair is buzzed short, and he has a scruffy beard. He has a septum piercing, and outlined tribal tattoos. We are in my parking lot, while he puts a new windshield on my car. I have come out to see how it is going, and he engages me in conversation. He is full of little verbal gems. This is how he starts:
'You dig my automatic caulking gun? Everybody does.'
I can only nod. He seems to take this as an awed silence in the face of his gun. Truly though, it is pretty cool. He starts giving me advice on managing my new windshield, I thought I could just, you know, look through it. But there are a few point to clarify. There are two strips of painters tape on the top of the window, running to the roof of my car. I am instructed to keep those on for 24 hours. He looks at me with serious eyes.
'Trust me, just leave those, just trust me.'
I must have looked a unimpressed with the bits of paper and glue holding my window on because when he launches into his speech on cracking a window to regulate air pressure he adopts a condescending tone.
'Its an air pressure thing man, don't even try to wrap your head around it.'
He goes on to tell me how he vacuumed out the glass on the dash and seats from the broken windshield.
'Just close your eyes the first time you use your window defroster.'
Apparently glass shards will fly out and lodge themselves in my eyeballs. As it is even with my eyes protected by their lids my face will be subject to this barrage. I suggest just turning it on now, while I'm outside of car, and consequently not in the range of the glass missiles. He stares at me with a surprised expression.
'Well damn... mind if I use that idea?'
I let him keep my idea.
'You dig my automatic caulking gun? Everybody does.'
I can only nod. He seems to take this as an awed silence in the face of his gun. Truly though, it is pretty cool. He starts giving me advice on managing my new windshield, I thought I could just, you know, look through it. But there are a few point to clarify. There are two strips of painters tape on the top of the window, running to the roof of my car. I am instructed to keep those on for 24 hours. He looks at me with serious eyes.
'Trust me, just leave those, just trust me.'
I must have looked a unimpressed with the bits of paper and glue holding my window on because when he launches into his speech on cracking a window to regulate air pressure he adopts a condescending tone.
'Its an air pressure thing man, don't even try to wrap your head around it.'
He goes on to tell me how he vacuumed out the glass on the dash and seats from the broken windshield.
'Just close your eyes the first time you use your window defroster.'
Apparently glass shards will fly out and lodge themselves in my eyeballs. As it is even with my eyes protected by their lids my face will be subject to this barrage. I suggest just turning it on now, while I'm outside of car, and consequently not in the range of the glass missiles. He stares at me with a surprised expression.
'Well damn... mind if I use that idea?'
I let him keep my idea.
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