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The Person I'm Next To Is Threatening, But Not Really

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I'm next to this silly looking dude. He has an ugly pink shirt on with a diagonal blue stripe across it. He has cargo shorts that go to just above his ankle, white crew socks and white tennis shoes. He is walking behind me, but quicker so at some point in my creepy stalking of him he moves past me. Thats when I'm see his face. My friend is with me and describes his look perfectly in on word, doofus. It is so true. He has doofus eyes, a doofus nose, doofus cheeks. This dude is a doofus.
But he doesn't use words like one.
"That mother fucking fuck master."
I know, I know, he said fuck master, that is awesome.
I just want to ram my fist through his shit bird forehead. One more time, ONE MORE TIME! And my fucking boot will jam every one of his stupid bastard teeth down his stupid bastard throat."
This carries on, with enough venom that I make sure to not be seen writing down his crazy words.
Best part though, doofus voice. He sounds like a cartoon donkey. His vicious, and at times hideous threats end up just making me want to giggle somewhere. I wonder what will happen when he runs in to that fuck master. What if the other guy just laughs at his voice, and face, and shirt, and fuck master.
Man, fuck master.

Comments

  1. Mike KouckyJuly 21, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    As hard as I try I can't bring myself to regard fuck master as an insult. I also really like shit bird. Though I feel like it should be one word "shitbird". Maybe that's just my German ancestors coming through.

    ReplyDelete

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