The Person I'm Next To Has A Text Driven Shirt On

I'm next to this grey haired dude. He looks to be in his forties and he has jean shorts and sandals on, and a black T-shirt. The shirt has a stick figure on it, and the sentence, 'I think it's funny how you think I'm listening.'
Did he buy this shirt for himself? Did he come across it in a store and say, hey that is totally the right amount of snark for my chest. I just have to have this T-shirt. Out of all the other clever one liner T-shirts that are doubtlessly on the same rack, this is the one for me. I'm definitely going to love rocking this hot number.
Or was it a present. Dave will love this, he hates it when people talk to him. Yeah this describes Dave perfectly, he is a real dick. I don't know, I see these shirts a lot.
I often wonder about this bizarre t-shirt applause of rudeness. How come there are never nice shirts. I appreciate you, or You're swell, or If you are reading this then you are literate, and that's great! I've never seen these on shirts. I want to see these.
Despite what the shirt says he seems like a nice guy.

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