The Person I'm Next To Was A Bit Character In A Bad Comedy Last Night

I'm next to this girl. Her hair stops just above her shoulder, and she has a golden hoop in her nose. She is wearing a black and white striped tank, and she is on the phone. She must be a regular here because there are three of four people around her at different tables unabashedly listening in on her phone call. It makes my eavesdropping all the easier. She just touches on this wonderful story before she hangs up, but sadly I can't only creepily listen in on half of it. This is the big problem with coffee shop phone call voyeurism, it can be very tantalizing, yet ultimately unfulfilling. So I am overjoyed when a guy a couple tables away says, "Ok, you need to tell us about that."
She puked on some dude.
At a bar.
From a balcony.
Right when he walked out a door!
This is perfect. This is so perfect. I bet the guy who she puked on was some tragic hero of a romantic comedy right at the end of his rope. His girl left him, his job is terrible right now, he probably got fired in fact, and he just had a fight with his one good buddy. After this he goes home and sinks into a depression. Don't worry he has a music montage comeback right around the corner. He will be fine.
Oh, In the striped tank girl's defense, she wasn't sloppy drunk, she just hadn't eaten enough before her first beer. So you know, she's ok.
Seriously that is perfect though.

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