The People I'm Next To Are Still Up Which Makes Me Still Up

I'm next to these four dudes. They all are wearing mesh shorts and T-shirts, three of the four have caps on, two of the four have flip flops. They are my new neighbors and they are enjoying the weather by sitting on their porch and talking about girls. Despite their ridiculous notions of women, this set up is not inherently a problem. When it happens at 4:30 am then we have a problem. Currently we have a problem.
They are loud, so loud. They are stupid, so stupid. As they talk about girls they do this strange dance. It starts off with a mention, "Hey hows Jane doing?" In a four man chorus they give some safe small talk about Jane. Then they lightly touch on Jane's character. Invariably these are compliments, "She is a really cool girl," and so on and so forth. This rapidly shifts to a different sort of compliment, "She has a BODY, I mean a body." So now that we know Jane isn't a discorporate entity wandering the world without form or physical cohesion we move on. Next, they mention a boy she had some sort of relations with, "Can you believe she gave Randal so many HJs?" Then comes the most fervent and time consuming part of the dance. "What a slut." This sentence is repeated and embellished hundreds of times, but that core sentiment is always the same. After a while of this badgering they slow down. Some one staggers into the alley to piss, on my wall, then someone says, "Hey anyone heard from Sally." And we begin the waltz once more. I am never going to get any sleep.
I hope these guys never have sex again.

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