The Person I'm Next To Is No Botanist

I'm next to a total dude. He is walking down the street, with his girl, who, in an amazing triumph over gender roles, is a total dude too. They are red, bright red, like everyone else around them. It is game day here in OSU town, which for me isn't that bad. I'm not a fan, but I like to pretend there are just weekly fairs, where vendors sell sell T-shirts, and necklaces made of buckeyes, instead of cotton candy, and deep fried everything.
This dude couple is walking by one of the said buckeye necklace vendors. The vendor halts them for a second, and hands the girl dude, dudette I suppose, a buckeye bracelet, "For you baby," he says. This turns out to be a brilliant sales move, as the couple stops to buy some more festive jewelry.
The dude says, "Hey do you have any that are just buckeye colors without these big brown things?"
The vendor is confused, "What?"
The dude, "These big ugly brown things."
The vendor, "Those are buckeyes. They are kind of the point."
The dude, while chuckling knowingly, "The Buckeyes are a football team."
The vendor is more confused, "It is the state tree, the buckeye tree, thats what the team is named for."
The dude, "Really?"
The vendor, "Really."
The girl dude, "Buy one!"
He does buy one, but one of the cheaper ones.

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