The Peron I'm Next To Is Unfairly Abusing A Biological Loophole

I'm next to this ripped dude. Ripped is a silly word, but thats what this dude is, every inch of him is at least ten times more firm than any inch of me. I suppose I haven't felt him to be sure, but with his tiny shorts and sleeveless and side-less shirt I certain can see enough of him. This shirt is ridiculous. Once upon a time it was a regular t-shirt, it had sleeves, a neck line, all that shirty stuff. But then this guy decided that he needed more airflow. So he dipped it in raw meat and and tossed it to a group of starving bears. Now it is slit down to the bottom hem on each side, and has a low ragged v-neck. It might be a tabard, technically, maybe he is a knight. I dunno.
Fashion choices aside, he is eating Mcdonalds. This inspires a dull resignation in me. This asshole is shoving the worst shit possible into his face, and still has a magnificent form. What worse is that, due to his excess of muscles, this dude's body literally requires more calories to maintain itself. Which means the fact that he is healthy now makes it easier for him to be healthy later. This logic loop will continue until he becomes the perfect human form and ascends into a celestial existence and lives in paradise and becomes paradise at the same time. Forever and ever, Amen. Glory be.
Meanwhile I just want abs.

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