The Person I'm Next To Sounds Stupid While Trying To Sound Smart

I'm next to this guy. He is pointlessly pontificating in a faded black t shirt, brown cargo pants. He has terrible hair, it has been hacked at some recent point, hacked I say, at least it matches his patchy beard which looks less like facial hair and more like spiny bristles to ward away predators, the perfect defense mechanism. Not that he needs it, his voice is enough to keep the bravest at bay. He is using it now.
He says things like, 'I have a chronic inability to be precise, generally,' or, 'Hymns really bore me, I mean they are never sung as intended.' I can't tell what would annoy me more; if he was really expressing sincere thoughts, or simply pretending to have opinions of things that no one has opinions on. Hymns? Really man? Its been a long three centuries since anyone has had a single opinion on hymns.
He gestures as he talks, grand academic hand signs that signal to you how cultured the possessor of such hands must be. How grand, how informed, how inspired. In this he actually shows some talent. If there was a mute button for assholes, and I pressed it in his general direction, I could watch him play out a conversation in blessed silence and he might fool me. He might seem an eccentric genius, adrift in a world of dullards who never will see the world with the clarity of his intellect. There isn't a mute button for assholes though. So, despite wonderful hand gestures, he is obviously an asshole.
Hmm, I am crabby today.

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