The Person I'm Next To Is Being A Dick About Dicks

I'm next to this guy. His curly blond hair reminds me of renaissance painting of a cherub. Those flying babies always had curly blond hair. Now that I'm thinking aout babies, he has the face of a baby too. Not a baby face, which is an adult with baby features, which is cute. Instead, it is the face of a baby stretched out over an adult skull, which is not cute. Which is mildly terrifying. But I don't want to talk about his face. I would like to talk about his penis, and his views on his penis, and the penis of a friend.
Apparently, the man baby is uncircumcised. Apparently he is proud about this, I know both of these things because he is loud about this. I also know his friend is uncircumcised, and that the man baby has opinions on this, opinions which he is sharing ad nauseam at his friend. Not with his friend, but at his friend. "My orgasms are much more intense than yours can ever be, on account of your debilitation. I am much more in tune with my penis, really I feel kind of bad about your life style." He then gives his friend a sympathetic pat on the back. His friend looks both annoyed and ashamed.
What the fuck?
This strikes me as wildly insensitive. First off where is he getting this data. I'm not saying its not true, but I'm not saying it is, either. Secondly, if he is right then he is making fun of his friend for being crippled. What if his friend was quadriplegic, "My legs and arms work much better than yours. My dance moves are much more intense than yours could ever be." DO you follow that with a sympathetic pat on the back.
Maybe I'm just offended because I'm circumcised.

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