The Person I'm Next To Is An Asshole And A Possible Vegetarian

I'm next to this man. He has a silver Ted Danson haircut, and a thicker Ted Danson face. He is dressed like a woman casually lounging in her house on a rainy day in a mid nineties romantic comedy. By this I mean, tight black jeans and a loose turtle neck sweater that goes down to his knees with a design like brown static.
We are in line at a Chinese place. He cut me in that line. Wait. I take that back, he actually interrupted me ordering. I was at the counter saying, "Umm I'd like-"
Then this guy steps in front of me. "I'll have a spring roll." The mother fucker. He actually hyphenated my sentence with his immediate need for a cruelty free eggroll. There is a simple etiquette to waiting in a line. Wait in line. Thats it, thats all you have to do. It is easy. Ignoring such obvious niceties, he spits out his order and without even waiting for the cashier to take the order he walks and sits down at a booth.
The cashier rolls his eyes and then takes my order. I retreat to a small table and begin furiously and impotently taking notes on the situation. I hear the cashier call to Danson wannabe letting him know the spring roll is done. No response. The cashier calls again. No response. Again. No response. Finally he walks around to the booth carrying the guys spring roll to him. The guy snatches the tiny bag, and holds up some cash, and says, "Just bring me back a dollar." The server finally has had enough and says, "You'll have to pay at the counter." Danson looks at his friends and makes an exasperated gesture and sighs as he stands up to walk five feet to the counter.
That sweater is so ugly.

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