The Person I'm Next To Is Vomiting

I'm next to this sound effect. It, presumably he, has on red converse chucks, which are startlingly similar to my own shoes, white socks and blue jeans. This is all I can see because he is in the stall next to me. He is puking, and I can hear it. It is extremely loud.
I am timidly sitting down in a public bathroom. Normally I stay away from being in this situation, not out of a fear of germs, but rather some strange near crippling social phobia of what people might think about the fact that I have to move my bowels from time to time. Tonight however my fear of moving my bowels in my pants has trumped that other fear, and so here I am, pooping in public. The person next to me is operating under similar biological urgency, but with a different ejection method.
I hear a pretty stereotypical puke noise, followed by a pretty stereotypical splash noise. This repeats every few seconds for a minute. I lose count of the cycles, as I sit paralyzed with the bizarre narcissistic fear that he may notice my shoes in between retches and then somehow find me in the bar and say loudly, "You were shitting next to me, while I was throwing up!" Then everyone would know that I use the bathroom, this is unacceptable. I have only one recourse, I pull my legs up.
Eventually he finishes and leaves. I wait for the feeling to return to my now sleeping cramped legs, and do the same. Once I'm back out in the bar I follow my social routine and keep my face low, avoiding eye to eye contact with the world. While looking at the floor I see the shoes. The man is talking to a group, he seems happy, he seems drunk, and is bragging about how much he just puked. I quickly move away. Bars are the only public place where puking is pretty accepted, in this case lauded.
I just realized I admitted to the internet that I poop, this is a hole in my plan.

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