I'm next to this woman. She is a little taller than me and very slender. I say slender because she doesn't look strangely thin, just linear. She has shoulder length hair that has seen one too many straightenings. Well to be perfectly honest I am probably not qualified to say that in an official capacity, so lets just say my layman's judgement on her hair is that she sticks it between too many hot iron plate devices. Although I maybe remember hearing straighteners are ceramic now, but this digression just proves my point about not being an expert. So to get back on track a short story; her hair looks dumb. She has boots on too, these boots are rain boots which is reasonable since it is raining. They are unreasonable because it looks like a 5 year old ate a pack of crayons and started vomiting paisley all over them. So another short story: her boots are dumb. Otherwise she looks fairly normal, she does sound obnoxious though, which is the point of all of this.
She is shouting, which is what drew my attention. I was in aisle 13 speculating on pasta wheels, versus pasta shells, when I hear this harsh throaty voice booming around the store. I wandered all the way to aisle 3 before I found the source of this grating roar. Surprise its the lady with the dumb head and feet! She is asking a question, an angry wildly loud question,"IS THIS FOOD?" Not just once, over and over again, grabbing things from her cart, and gesticulating with reckless abandon, once nearly clobbering a nearby shopper with a can green beans.
The answer to her question is yes, a thousand times yes. She is in a grocery store, everything is food, well ok mostly everything. So I assume she is being rhetorical, I assume wrong. Her companion shopper nods, yep that's a pizza. She also nods, and roots around and grabs a loaf of bread, "IS THIS FOOD?" Yep that's bread. Rinse and repeat, until its so weird that it almost cant't be a joke that I'm missing.
Sp then I feel terrible for thinking she was hilariously crazy, because you know she might be tragically crazy. But, five minutes later as I'm walking out I pass by her and she is chuckling lightly and having a perfectly normal, appropriately volumed, conversation about March Madness. So I dunno, maybe she just isn't a nutritionist.
Yes, those are green beans.
She is shouting, which is what drew my attention. I was in aisle 13 speculating on pasta wheels, versus pasta shells, when I hear this harsh throaty voice booming around the store. I wandered all the way to aisle 3 before I found the source of this grating roar. Surprise its the lady with the dumb head and feet! She is asking a question, an angry wildly loud question,"IS THIS FOOD?" Not just once, over and over again, grabbing things from her cart, and gesticulating with reckless abandon, once nearly clobbering a nearby shopper with a can green beans.
The answer to her question is yes, a thousand times yes. She is in a grocery store, everything is food, well ok mostly everything. So I assume she is being rhetorical, I assume wrong. Her companion shopper nods, yep that's a pizza. She also nods, and roots around and grabs a loaf of bread, "IS THIS FOOD?" Yep that's bread. Rinse and repeat, until its so weird that it almost cant't be a joke that I'm missing.
Sp then I feel terrible for thinking she was hilariously crazy, because you know she might be tragically crazy. But, five minutes later as I'm walking out I pass by her and she is chuckling lightly and having a perfectly normal, appropriately volumed, conversation about March Madness. So I dunno, maybe she just isn't a nutritionist.
Yes, those are green beans.
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