The Person I'm Next To Is Correctly Astounded

I'm next to this woman. She is a thin, dark haired lady in jarringly bright, if pleasant clothes. I'd say jaunty, if I were the type of person to say jaunty. I guess I am. In a strange quirk, she is doing what I am doing, essentially describing some stranger in the bar. She and a gentlemen, her gentleman, are telling a story to another lady. The story is about their first date, more specifically a rude interruption on their first date.
Some three years ago this couple picked up a third wheel during their date, a wonderfully brash third wheel. The Wheel saw the Jaunty lady and was quite smitten, and he decided to pursue her while she was out with her pre-boyfriend. She politely explained that she wasn't interested and indeed that she was here with another boy. Rebuffed the third Wheel retreated, got drunker and returned. He found similar results, and repeated the get drunker tactic over and over again. The entirely predictable consequence of this was the third wheel getting a bit wobbly on his axle. He got pretty drunk, if you didn't catch my in metaphor drift.
Presently the now coupled couple is telling this story because they have spotted the third wheel, three years later, but still pretty drunk. I will make the safe assumption that this is a different episode of drunkenness, however it has the same consequence. The jaunty lady's group has attracted the Wheel's attention while whispering covertly about him. Perhaps feeling their stares on his back, he turns and suddenly locks eyes with the jaunty lady. With a yelp she breaks eye contact and her group immediately huddles defensively. Unphased the Wheel rolls towards them. He walks over if you didn't catch my most recent metaphor drift.
In a loud voice he announces, "I have found you, after 3 years!" This is one of those unbelievable sentences, that I almost cringe to write, but nonetheless it is verbatim. He stumbles up to her, and leaning in uncomfortably close he squints his eyes and gives her the once over. Visible coming to a conclusion he uses the same loud voice to deliver another announcement. "You are much jewwier than I remember."
The jaunty lady looks astonished, laughs hysterically, but otherwise is at a loss for words, and this time she is the one that retreats. Which is pretty fair.
Both my internal, and my computer's spell check had a tough time with, "jewwier."

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