The Person I am Next to is Another Victim of Big Yoga

I am next to this lady. She has on kelly green sneakers, bright white glasses, and a maroon hat. She is maybe in her early or mid-40s, and she has excellent posture.

If I am being straight with you, I don’t really know what excellent posture looks like, but I do know how to eavesdrop. In this case my creepy listening skills have informed me that she has been a yoga instructor for around a decade, so I assume that the posture she is posturing is, in fact, good posture.

It also informs me that there is trouble in yoga land. She is chatting with a former student, who mentions not seeing her class on some listing or other, and is curious about, “What’s up with that?”

Our instructor relates that she had been working for this company for a while, and was informed that they were moving away from her brand of yoga. So, she won't be teaching there anymore. She is pretty chill about the whole affair, “Oh I’m doing fine, I found another place to teach, and all.”

And that’s it. The two women part ways, and the world keeps turning.

But shouldn’t there be more?

Are we so beaten down by corporate yoga deciding how we should bend? These fat cat gurus stepping all over this lady. Someone should start a petition, organize a boycott, fucking burn this thousand dollar industry down and put the postures back in the hands of the people! Let’s do it, let’s stand up to these Asana Barons, these two-bit stretch bandits. This is god damn America, no one tells us how to Om.

I’m just kidding, it was a slow news day and I thought the phrase, ‘fat cat gurus’ was funny.

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